Over the last year I feel as though God has been pulling me kicking and screaming through a season of change.
I was probably resisting it so much because firstly, I’m not a huge fan of change and secondly, change has not been a regularity in my life. In fact, I can list my major life changes right here: entering high school, graduating high school, breaking up with a boy, starting at TWU, having my grandpa and grandma pass away, graduating from TWU, entering “the real world” of job searching, having my family sell my childhood home on an acre of land to move to a townhouse, and moving onsite at A Rocha Canada for an internship. The latter five of these nine major life changes have happened in the last year.
Needless to say, I have felt a little like my whole world has been uprooted and shaken about and it’s been a roller coaster of emotions as I’ve dealt with fears of the unknown, and feelings of lost identity. I found that during this time my walk with God wasn’t particularly close, and though I would occasionally give my worries and anxieties to God, I would often find myself taking them back and trying to control them again to restore a sense of stability in my life. This didn’t work out very well and I found myself in a frenzy, trying by my own strength to define who I am and what I am here to do.
All of my fears, worries and anxieties about the changes in my life had just about reached the boiling point when I went on a retreat to Galiano Island for my internship. This retreat could not have come at a better time.
During the retreat, I had a solid 3 hours of time where it was just me, God and His Creation. I found a nice spot on the rocks, surrounded by my favourite Garry Oak trees, overlooking a beautiful island landscape, with solely the sounds of the waves on the beach, the birds in the trees, the wind in the branches, and the occasional blow of a sea lion surfacing in the waters below me. It was the first time in a long time that I’d fully stopped and did absolutely nothing but take in the glory and beauty of Creation.
It was the first time in a long time that I’d sat alone with God, read His Word, prayed, and wrestled with God about how unsettled my life had been in recent months. It was the first time in a long time that I was able to rest physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
It felt so good!
Now, as I look back on this season of change, as my life seems to be settling, I have discovered that God brings us through these seasons of difficult times, not to torment or irritate us, but to teach us about Himself and ourselves. I have been stretched in both my understanding of God and of myself during this time. I have also come to realize and appreciate the many blessings that have occurred, and come to the point in which I can give God the glory for His work in my life during this tumultuous time.
I can now also encourage any recent alumni, freshmen, or others who have experienced major life changes recently, that God has a plan for the change. Life would be pretty boring if it was static and never changing. Therefore, a final encouragement to all: embrace the change and let God guide your life. Let us walk by faith, and not by sight, setting our eyes on the guiding Father and letting Him do good work in our lives.